Where did I go?

This blog was originally started for a class I was taking, Women and Girls in the Media. Well, a B and a semester later, I still own the blog. Instead of deleting it, I have decided to continue it with my own personal struggles and joys in my life.

I weighed myself this morning. 179. I have gained 3 pounds in about a week. HOW??? How has this happened. No, I was not running some triathlon, but still. I seem to just be gaining and gaining. And in that, more and more depression. It has been years since I was a size 4, but still, I look in the mirror and wonder who the hell is looking back at me. I am only 34 and seem to have lost all control of my body. I am so sad. I know I need to exercise, but it seems so damn hard with the kids. I don’t want M to think that appearances are everything and that she has to stay thin. That would be just my luck, she develops an eating disorder from watching my weight struggles. Yeah, I’ve already been through that in my childhood.

I know the biggest key to this whole thing is getting up, exercising and eating better. But it seems like it is easier said than done. I hate feeling like this. I just hate it.

Where did Chris go?

Mirror, Mirror on the wall…

Take a look at this…

http://www.boingboing.net/2010/05/24/what-disney-princess.html

Being the Facebook junky I am, when a friend of mine posted this on Facebook the other day, I saw it right away and had to take a look at it. I felt it was very important to blog about this, but I have to admit I am torn about these statements and how these beloved Disney Princess’s are being portrayed.

I consider myself a pretty fair person. I like to play devil’s advocate, acknowledge that there are always two sides to every story, take the time to listen to someone’s opinion, even if I don’t necessarily agree with it, and try to see the best in every person and situation. A bit Pollyanna’ish? Yes, but I have lived the negative life before and I can tell you, this is a MUCH better attitude to have.

I think this cartoon characterization is AWFUL!!!! What kind of ultra-modern feminist wrote this? What kind of person really sees these fairy tales in this extremely negative way? I was stunned! They are FAIRY TALES! Stories! Let’s go through each one, shall we?

Cinderella -” If you are beautiful enough, you may be able to escape your terrible living conditions by getting a wealthy man to fall for you.” Seriously? Now, what I have taken from Cinderella growing up is if you have a good heart, are kind to those in your life and try to live a good life, good things will happen to you.

Belle – “Appearances don’t matter; what counts is what’s in your heart. Unless you’re the girl.”  Because she was pretty, she is penalized? That seems a bit double standard, doesn’t it? For ugly people appearances don’t matter but for pretty people, they will be punished? On top of that, Belle was portrayed as a caring woman, and most importantly, a VERY SMART WOMAN, who read every chance she got.

Jasmine – “As a woman, your political wort is reduced to your marriageabitlity.” OK, number one, this story was based in a different land, somewhere in the Middle East. However, what I saw from this was a very strong woman who stood up to her traditions and said “NO! I want to be free and make my own decisions, including who I will marry!”.

Aurora – “Pretty girls don’t even need to be alive to get some hot princely action.” OK, I have to admit, this is the story I know least about, except that she pricks her finger on a spindle and sleeps until a prince wakes her up with a kiss. Yeah, pretty corny. But does anybody really think that is what a 3 yr old girl is thinking?

Snow White – “At first it may seem terrible, being so beautiful that other women get jealous enough to try and kill you. But don’t worry, once your beauty attracts a man, he’ll protect you.” OK, never mind the fact that again, she has a good, warm heart and helps take care of seven little guys (of course the story does go into the dwarfs work and she stays at home to cook and clean. but then again, she is staying with them for free!), is kind to creatures in the forest and never begrudged her stepmother for being such a jealous bitch who needs to grow up (although in the first edition, the Queen was her mother, not her step mother like in the newer versions).

Ariel – “It’s okay to abandon your family, drastically change your body, and give up your strongest talent in order to get your man. Once he sees your pretty face, only a witch’s spell could draw his eyes away from you.” OK, now this one REALLY made my blood boil! It just so happens that The Little Mermaid is my all time favorite movie (yes, I am 34 and admitting this). I even have Ariel’s best friend, Flounder, tattooed on my hip (yes, I am serious, got it when I was 23). Let me explain why this is my favorite movie. When The Little Mermaid came out in the early 90’s, I was 14. My home life was not the greatest. Don’t get me wrong, it was not the worst, but it could have been better. I was in awe over this film. To me, it spoke volumes to me of where I wanted my life to go. To me, this movie was clearly sending the message of “GO FOR YOUR DREAMS! You are a modern woman and will not conform! Stop at nothing to achieve your dreams and goals in life!” Even if in this example, it was landing a hot prince. I firmly believe that is what Ariel was doing. Yes, she was going against her father, but she was following her dream, her heart. And THAT, I believe, is the best advice anyone could ever give a child.

Now, I also get the drama of it all. Disney has made an ENORMOUS fortune playing up the damsel in distress scenario. These princess’s are all beautiful, have the most unrealistic figures and each of these movies ends with the girl being happy once she has her prince. I get that this may not be the most educational way to show young girls life. But here’s the thing…IT’S NOT LIFE! It’s a fairy tale! And can I add that I love how this author excluded Mulan, who dressed as a man to fight in a war and showed enormous courage. I believe that all these princess’s showed unfathomable amounts of courage to the lives they were living.

The negativity that is seeping through this author’s word’s and vision is more damaging that the stories themselves! I have a daughter. She LOVED these stories. Now, if a parent is putting their young daughter in front of these movies and reading these stories and explaining to said child that her life will be happy and complete only when she finds her prince, then it’s not the story’s fault, it’s the parent. If we, as a society, continue to build up our daughter’s self esteem’s and continually show them that they can achieve and do anything, than fairy tales won’t be a stereotype, but just wonderful stories that our daughter’s can fondly think of back to their childhood. Again, Pollyanna’ish, I know.

My love/hate relationship with Ann Taylor

I started seeing Ann a few  years ago. It was very casual at first. I would go to see her every 6 months or so, browse around and occasionally buy a little something for myself. Then, two years ago, I was shopping for a new dress for the Jewish High Holidays, which are in the fall. Big signs were everywhere in the stores, proclaiming big sales. Ann was no exception. I stopped in and found two gorgeous dresses that I fell in love with. I then found jewelry that was to die for. I snatched those up as well. Thus, my love affair with Ann Taylor started. I started seeing her all the time. I could not get enough! She even gave me a card! My very own card to use to my heart’s content! However, Ann and I have some issues.

Whenever I see ads for Ann, I love the clothing pictured. The style is VERY me. Stylish, classic, elegant. Very Christina Tracy. The prints in the windows, the clothing on the mannequins, all of it, I love. HOWEVER, there is a little difference between the models and myself. They are at the most a size 2 and exude sophistication and class in the photos. I wear a size 12. Yes, Ann does think of me and carry my size, but when I find a great top or dress, I run into the dressing room, get it on and BAM! I LOOK NOTHING LIKE THE MODELS PICTURED! And Ann is pretty good with her lighting in the dressing room. Still, I look completely different from the beautiful woman up front. Why Ann? Why must you toy with my emotions like this! I thought for sure that I would have the perfect arms, the tiny waist and  the shapely legs, like your model does, as soon as I put the outfit on. But alas, I don’t. I stand there, looking at my reflection and what is looking back is a woman who is 40 lbs overweight, has Stay Puffed Marshmallow arms, a waist that mushes out all over the place, a stomach that has carried 3 children and looks like it could be carrying more and legs that have become unshapely.

You see my problem with Ann? No matter how much I love the outfit on the model or how I convince myself that as soon as I put said outfit on, I will show the same class, sophistication, style and confidence that the model does, it is not the same. Ann has duped me. Ann and her amazing photographers and marketing strategists have convinced me, simply with a picture, that I can look just like the model. And it works. Because even when the reality of my body hits me, I try to overhaul my self-image into believing that I look just as beautiful as their model. And the best part? Inside, I do. So, I bring my purchases to the counter, pay with the lovely card they gave me and as I walk out, I think to myself, “I will look like her one day.” Is this self-confidence or just the media trying to define how I “should” look? This is the eternal question. Let me leave you with this from Ann Taylor’s CEO:

“We are committed to meeting the evolving needs of women who want feminine, stylish and versatile fashions that offer great quality and value and that inspire women to look as beautiful as they feel.” ~Kay Krill President and Chief Executive Officer

Sources:

AnnTaylor.com

No makeup will reveal…

I happened to catch The Tonight Show with Jay Leno last night, the first time I have watched it since Leno has been back (yeah, I am on Team Conan, but that is a whole other discussion!). He talked about a photo shoot that Jessica Simpson had done for Marie Claire magazine. Now, Jessica Simpson has done, I’m sure, hundred’s of photo shoots, but what made this one so different was that she wore no makeup. I got online this morning and saw a caption in my news feed on Yahoo! about the same thing. The cover of the magazine, sure enough, showed Jessica Simpson, looking as beautiful as ever. The cover stated “The REAL Jessica. No Makeup, No Retouching, No Regrets.”  The pictures that were shot for the story showed again, a beautiful woman.  She looked very natural. Air dried hair, no makeup. And hey, this may not be what I look like w/out makeup, but then again, there is a reason she is famous and I am not. It was not so much the pictures that surprised me though, it was the comments on Yahoo’s website ABOUT the pictures. People were just brutal! Here are a few:

Rere Wed Apr 21, 2010 01:46 pm PDT

Oh, whatever…you can tell she’s wearing something on her lips and eyes

Cheri Wed Apr 21, 2010 01:56 pm PDT Without Makeup?? Is anyone else sick and tired of every type of media dictating to us what is “real” or not? She is CLEARLY wearing makeup…a bit of translucent powder, a little gloss, a little eyeliner and perhaps even a tad bit of mascara. COME ON! at least Brittany Spears didn’t claim to not be wearing makeup AND she let the whole world see her cellulite…ON PURPOSE!! now THAT is real and that is life and that is what happens after women have CHILDREN, so all you guys out there who think women are supposed to go to sleep and wake-up looking like a centerfold…leave fantasy land behind and GROW UP. That goes for women too. I AM SICK OF SEX (APPEAL) SELLING EVERYTHING!!!!!

A Yahoo! User Wed Apr 21, 2010 02:17 pm PDT i hate jessica simpson she is such a dramma queen i dont know why people are in love with her so much and good job tony romo for dumping her you deserve better and like everyone else said who cut the cheese

I just don’t get it. It seems that something like this puts women in the damned if you do, damned if you don’t category. Public opinion can be brutal! She wears too much makeup (that a makeup artist puts on her), she is labeled a whore. She goes au natural, she is labeled a liar. Now granted, many of the comments were directed to the magazine, but still. It seems the public judging more than the industry. Has anyone stopped to think that maybe women are put in this situation from the public demanding more beauty, trimmer bodies? Or is it just Jessica Simpson herself?

In 2002, Jamie Lee Curtis did a photo shoot and article for More magazine. The article was entitled “True Thighs” and showed the real Jamie Lee Curtis. No makeup, no airbrushing, no retouching, almost no clothes, nothing! Curtis was the one who suggested this to More!

Curtis wore a sports bra and spandex boxers for the shoot. “”There’s a reality to the way I look without my clothes on,” she says. “I don’t have great thighs. I have very big breasts and a soft, fatty little tummy. And I’ve got back fat. People assume that I’m walking around in little spaghetti-strap dresses. It’s insidious — Glam Jamie, the Perfect Jamie, the great figure, blah, blah, blah. And I don’t want the unsuspecting 40-year-old women of the world to think that I’ve got it going on. It’s such a fraud. And I’m the one perpetuating it.” Curtis stated in the article.

But here’s the thing…Curtis was almost made into an icon for this!  It was a big story. A story of hope. Jamie Lee Curtis photographed with flab hanging over her shorts, no makeup, how a real woman looks. People thought it was so great!

Maybe it is just the public’s opinion of Simpson. Maybe this kind of photograph is good when a woman is older, but not the younger women, who should be “examples”, even when the public say’s they want it real, when they get it, it’s not good enough. The perpetual double-edged sword.

Sources:

Orkin – Emmanuel, Lisa. Au Natural: Celebs opt for Untouched Photos. Yahoo! News, http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20100421/ap_en_ot/us_fashion_unretouched_beauty_2#mwpphu-container

Wallace, Amy. Jamie Lee Curtis: True Thighs. More Magazine. http://www.more.com/2049/2464-jamie-lee-curtis-true-thighs

Photo Credits:

Jessica Simpson photo by James White for Marie Claire.

Jamie Lee Curtis photo by Andrew Eccles for MORE.

Iron Jawed Angels

I just watched this movie for the first time for my Pre Women’s Study Residency class. First of all, it was excellent! The movie was about the last decade of the women’s suffrage movement. It also had a stellar cast. Hillary Swank, Angelica Huston, Julia Ormond, Patrick Dempsey, among many other wonderful actors. The movie tells the story of women’s suffrage advocates Alice Paul and Lucy Burns. You can read a synopsis of the film here:http://iron-jawed-angels.com/synopsis_1.htm

I loved this movie! It made me feel not only proud to be a woman, but also very fortunate to be a woman in the 21st century. It also made me more thankful than ever for the ladies who fought for the rights that I take for granted today. However, there was one moment in the movie that really stuck out to me. In the film, Alice Paul, played by Hillary Swank, seems to have an electric energy, a mutual attraction to Ben Weissman, a political cartoonist for The Washington Post, played by Patrick Dempsey. The attraction is obvious, starting to when they first met. You can see through out the film that Ben is trying and trying to win over Miss Paul’s heart. Alice keeps pushing away his romantic advances, in favor of keeping a friendship and a powerful ally to the suffrage movement. Now, if you are a hopeless romantic like I am, you keep rooting for them to finally come together. And even at one point you think “THIS IS IT! They are going to kiss! She is finally going to give into her heart!” But alas, she gently pushes him away.

At one point in the film, Lucy questions why Alice keeps turning her heart away from Ben. Alice states, “…my whole hearts in this fight. There’s nothing to spare, not if we are going to win…When you are alone, you can make any choice you want. When someone loves you, you lose that right. I won’t give anything away until we have it all.”

This line made me so sad when I heard it. The fact of the matter is, it was how marriage was at that time. Or at least most marriages. It sounded so hopeless.  Nope, you get married and you lose all identity. This was how marriage was perceived by many. With good reason. I guess what I saw so wrong with it was the simple fact that there was so much she could have gained also. To open her heart to someone. To love and to be loved in return. To feel that once you are married, you lose the right to make any decisions. That you have to succumb to your husband’s every wish and demand. I am so proud of the accomplishments and fight that my previous sister’s have done for the freedom’s and right’s that I enjoy today, yet so sad that they did not get to enjoy these natural right’s but had to fight for them, while giving up so much in return.

But, that is just the hopeless romantic that I am!

Lindsey Vonn

I was originally going to do this week’s blog about The Grammy’s. But when I sat down just now to check my email before I started this, something very interesting caught my eye in my Yahoo news feed. The title was “Vonn’s magazine cover draws fire”. Now, I’ll be honest. I am not much of a winter Olympic’s gal. Yes, yes, I was captivated by the whole Kerrigan/Harding knee bashing in ’94. But that’s about it. I am a bit more of a summer Olympic’s gal, but I think mainly b/c I lived in Atlanta during the ’96 games and attended several events. So, b/c I don’t even really follow this, I had no idea who Vonn was when I saw this. I just saw a small picture of a cute girl with skis next to her head. Intrigued, I took the bait and clicked on the article. I honestly was expecting another Miley Cyrus naked teen type thing, but this picture, this was ridiculous! THIS was drawing fire?

Here’s the lowdown on Lindsey Vonn:  25 yr old Lindsey Vonn has been skiing since she was 3. Born in Minnesota, her parents saw her potential and eventually moved the family to Vail, CO, which obviously has much better skiing than the great lakes state! She is married, has a determination for victory that would put Hitler to shame and the Vancouver Olympics will be her 3rd Olympics. She is being hailed as the best women’s skier EVER. Vonn is strong, determined, smart & yes, very pretty.

According to Chris Chase, the blogger and author of the article, this picture has drawn fire for what critics call a “provocative pose”.  Seriously? She’s a down hill skier! That is their stance! It is certainly how I look when I am downhill skiing in my living room on my Wii Fit (well, with a bigger butt)!  Chase then makes a VERY interesting point: apparently, SI did a Olympic Winter Games Preview in 1992, which had a skier from the US men’s team, A.J. Kitt. He was in almost the exact same pose! Didn’t hear much outcry for that?

http://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/vancouver/blog/fourth_place_medal/post/Let-the-Lindsey-hype-begin-Vonn-is-Sports-Illus;_ylt=AsCTKEZSvbQ3h4WHk5mKyP9otLV_?urn=oly,217525#more_share_tools

It seems to me, that even when you have a smart, talented, successful woman drawing attention, she still needs to be a bit more in the “mold” that is better accepted in society. I am sure it would have been more “accepted” for Vonn to be sitting in front of a stack stone fireplace with a  roaring fire, wearing jeans, a turtleneck, and a ski sweater, holding a steaming cup of hot cocoa, next to a plate of chocolate chip cookies.  Vonn is fully dressed, in a skiers stance, the only skin that you can see is her face and the headline is “Lindsey Vonn: America’s Best Woman Skier Ever”. While this should be glorified, this is some of what the critics are saying:

“It could be seen as a sign of progress that Lindsey Vonn, arguably America’s greatest skier ever — and an inarguable choice for The Big Story in Vancouver — scored the cover of Sports Illustrated’s Olympics preview edition.

But we sort of wonder whether Bode Miller or Ted Ligety — or even some other members of the U.S. women’s squad — would be pictured quite the same way, all made up and ready for … something.

Thoughts?” (Ron Judd)

Over the last 60 years researchers have shown that about 4% of all SI covers have portrayed women.

When females are featured on the cover of SI, they are more likely than not to be in sexualized poses and not in action–and the most recent Vonn cover is no exception. (Dr. Nicole M. LaVoi)

I am the first one to speak up when I think a picture of a woman has gone over the top, but seriously I think this time the critics have really gone overboard!

Sources:

Chase, Chris. Let the Lindsey hype begin: Vonn is Sports Illustrated cover girl. Yahoo! Sports,http://sports.yahoo.com/olympics/vancouver/blog/fourth_place_medal/post/Let-the-Lindsey-hype-begin-Vonn-is-Sports-Illus;_ylt=AsCTKEZSvbQ3h4WHk5mKyP9otLV_?urn=oly,217525#more_share_tools

Judd, Ron. Lindsey Vonn, SI Poster Girl. Ron Judd’s Olympics Insider, The Seattle Times,http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/ronjuddsolympicsinsider/2010963997_lindsey_vonn_si_poster_girl.html

LaVoi, Dr. Nicole M. Vonn Watch: Sports Illustrated Cover is Predictable, One Sport Voice, Women Talk Sports,http://www.womentalksports.com/items/read/38/162903

Photo Credits:

Lindsey Vonn photo by Bob Martin for Sports Illustrated

A.J. Kitt photo by Heinz Kluetmeier